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I hate Buenos Aires when…

Sometimes Buenos Aires can be a bitch

Diva specifically requested that this photo wasn't rotated [1]

With great honor, Diva, of Buenos Aires Through My Eyes [2] (AKA Bitchtours) fame, is welcomed to the blog as a guest poster. She loves Buenos Aires, but sometimes, like all cities, it has its annoyances…

1. I order a dish from a menu and they don’t have it

This is not something unusual here, even in fancy restaurants. You spent 10 minutes deciding what you’re gonna have and when you order the waiter gives you this look like you’ve pronounced a forbidden word and then says: “I’ll check if we have that”.

How come? It’s on the menu, the only thing I would eat right now is that damn dish and you don’t have it? Give me a break.

2. I buy something in a kiosk and they give me candy instead of change because they don’t have coins

Mr. or Mrs. kiosk: I’m buying a pack of Lucky Strikes and a diet coke, do you think I really want candy? Maybe we should do what a friend suggested the other day: Keep all the candy in a jar and then try to buy my cigarettes with them.

3. The taxi driver tells me that he doesn’t know the street I’m trying to get

Taxi driver: Corrientes and Anchorena? Hmmm… I’m not sure where that is.

Me: That’s the Abasto.

Taxi driver: Abasto? Is that the place where there are horse races? Excuse me, but I’ve been driving this taxi cab just for 3 days and I don’t know the city very well…

That’s the oldest trick in the world, dude, at least in Buenos Aires. I know what you are doing. You are testing if I know where I’m going. I do know, and I also know the fastest way to get there so cut the crap and drive.

And then you are going to tell me that you’ve just started your shift so you don’t have any change. Don’t worry, I have lots of candy…

4. The TV in the subways

Oh my god, that’s annoying. Maybe you are visiting and you don’t have to take the subway like most of the locals do (anyway you won’t escape from the taxi drivers). They have these TVs all over the place repeating the same crap every 5 minutes. From stupid music videos to political propaganda, from fashion shows to a coach teaching people how they should dress in order to get a job. All kinds of uninteresting programs that last 30 seconds.

I would get a taxi cab if it wasn’t that they probably won’t know the address I’m going to.

5. Bad graffiti

Hey you, the guy that paints the walls in such a messy and ugly way: If you are going to damage private property, at least do it with some class. Haven’t you seen all those wonderful stencils around Buenos Aires? Those guys try to add something to the world, they carefully design what they are going to paint. What you do is just stupid. I hope the police caught you while you are damaging another wall. If you have things to say, go get a therapist, because nobody wants to know what you have to say.

And that’s it. I could go on and on, but this is not my blog so…

About me: Buenos Aires Through My Eyes [2]

Dear readers, what do you hate about Buenos Aires?

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19 Comments (Open | Close)

19 Comments To "I hate Buenos Aires when…"

#1 Comment By Jude On July 18, 2007 @ 3:19 pm

I love Bitchtours Blog!

I made it back to blogland too, its great to catch up, you´ve been busy the last few months I see!!

Good work Alan, great read, hope you are well

Love Jude

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#2 Comment By Cherie On July 18, 2007 @ 4:12 pm

Great post!
But I don’t want to get started on “I hate BsAs when…”
I keep a list on my computer of “I LOVE BsAs when…” just to keep me focused!

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#3 Comment By diva On July 18, 2007 @ 7:02 pm

Jude, I´ve been trying to read your blog but it´s private. let me in!!!
Cherie, that´s a very nice thing to do.

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#4 Comment By gerund On July 18, 2007 @ 10:37 pm

Rush hour. The worst of BA. Especially if you’re walking dwn Florida street. Or in the subway. Or on the bus. Or…

Rush hour sucks.

🙂

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#5 Comment By exnat On July 19, 2007 @ 4:45 pm

I bet you’d appreciate it more if they had an open pack of cigarettes to offer you instead of the candy…

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#6 Comment By Diva On July 19, 2007 @ 9:18 pm

the do have open packages of cigarettes, cause it´s illegal to sell cigarettes per unit, but they do it

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#7 Comment By Rob On July 22, 2007 @ 2:32 pm

I must say the candy change is pretty good, sure i’d rather get 10 centavos back, but candy change is better than nothing (and way better than pogs). Of course a cigarette as change sounds like a pretty revolutionary idea. (except for non smokers I suppose). As for the grafitti, I agree with you, it looks like 3 year olds sneak out at night and paint the city because there parents put there drawings on the refrigerator, and they think maybe the whole world would like to see there little nonsense doodles on the walls.

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#8 Comment By diva On July 23, 2007 @ 11:48 am

jajja, exactly.
thanks rob for your comment

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#9 Comment By Rosie On August 8, 2007 @ 1:38 am

haha, that was great! how bout the fact that they charge you potentially 4 pesos for a stale basket of bread? or the kissing noises guys make at you and the fact that being 80 years old doesn’t stop them from trying to hit on you? obvious ones are clearly the sidewalks and the dog pooh. or how bout trying to get any sort of green veggie on your plate? ok…enough with the negative. i do love buenos aires. i’m definitely gonna check out your blog now 🙂

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#10 Comment By Diva On August 10, 2007 @ 3:06 pm

Hi rosie, I´m glad you liked it. I definitly have to write about those 80 year old disgusting guys…
See you on my blog

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#11 Comment By Celia On August 25, 2007 @ 7:25 pm

You are soooo right! How about those “cyber”places where they charge you $1 to access the internet for 20 minutes, and then the computer is soo frigging slow you spend an hour or more just trying to log on!!! And have you tried complaining about that ??!!

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#12 Comment By Diva On August 27, 2007 @ 10:29 pm

Celia, thank God I have internet connection at home, but I do understand your pain.
see you

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#13 Comment By Paige On September 6, 2007 @ 7:27 pm

I have been to Buenos Aires too and not every store gives you candy back. They probably just did that because you were American. Buenos Aires is a wonderful city full of the nicest people. I know i have met lifelong friends that i will never forget. Oh and New York City is just as bad as Buenos Aires on graffiti.

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#14 Comment By Anonymous On October 1, 2007 @ 9:07 pm

hey.. you dont tolerate anything at all, give yourself a break, human are not perfect, REMEMBER?

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#15 Comment By Delia On October 1, 2007 @ 9:18 pm

you are a little bit intolerant, dont you know? people are not perfect, if you ask for perfection id like you to be the the perfection on perfection, and dont forget to make the best graffitis on the fucking world. GOD.. some people are really dumb…

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#16 Comment By Diva On October 6, 2007 @ 6:48 pm

hahaha, read my blog and leave comments like these!!! You, the person who wrote the 3 offensive comments, (I know you are the same person).
You made my day. Whenever I receive something like this I just get inspired to write more about the stupidity in the world (or buenos Aires, whatever)
Thank you a lot, my precious muse.
And remember;
Visit my blog
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#17 Pingback By Interview with Alan Patrick of Buenos Tours (Part 3) – Argentina’s Travel Guide On December 27, 2007 @ 11:51 am

[…] Diva (of Buenos Aires Through My Eyes), who wrote an hilarious article for my blog called “I hate Buenos Aires when…” (though i think some people that read that last one got the wrong end of the stick. Check […]

#18 Comment By Mildred On April 3, 2017 @ 1:32 pm

That happened to you ’cause you’re an ignorant tourist. You should visit a country based on REAL information and not compliments from mediocre tourists or touristic publicity. I’m glad you had a bad time in Buenos Aires… You deserved it, due to your ignorance.

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admin Reply:

Hello Mildred.

Thank you for your comment. The article you are commenting on was written by a lady from Buenos Aires, not a tourist. It was meant to be light hearted and tongue in cheek.

The author, far from being ignorant, was a tour guide in Buenos Aires for many years, and is now a psychologist.

Have a nice day,

Alan

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