Firstly, sincere apologies for the rubbish play on words in the title, on the almost certainly terrible (haven’t read it) but fairly famous novel by Miranda France: Bad Times in Buenos Aires.

So, moving swiftly on, it is thanks to Arjewtino (top blog, by the way) that I found a fun little tool that gives a film rating for your blog, depending on the number and variation of ‘bad’ words found on it. Although, as you’ll soon see, it does throw up some pretty off-the-mark results.

Buenos Aires Argentina Guide: Pure as Snow

Along with many other respectable colleagues in the Buenos Aires and Argentina travel-related blogosphere, such as Argentina’s Travel Guide, Goodairs, and Asado Argentina, I can happily say that I am pure as snow. We’re all goody-two-shoes Rated G blogs:

In fact, the tool even says that no bad words at all were found on my site. It’s amazing how different people are in blogging compared to real life…

Anyway, surely there must be some bad boys (and girls) out there in the Buenos Aires blogging world, and my job is to first track ‘em down, run them through the rating tool, and then name and shame ‘em. So, read on for a list of some extremely naughty Buenos Aires bloggers…

[Clearly I'm doing this for the good of all you parents out there worried about what your young children are reading on the internet ;)]

Rated PG in Buenos Aires

• We start out with Dan over at Saltshaker, who is guilty of mentioning the word ‘punch’ but one time, and according to the tool that means his blog surely contains a description of a violent fight. Or maybe, just maybe, it has something to do with it being a food blog and punch being a type of drink? Hmmm…
• Next up is there is the Greek in Argentina, who the rating tool says has his mind only on one thing: ’sex’. A full 6 (six!) mentions. Isn’t it terrible how bloggers can get wrongly labeled just for keeping up with current events.
• Nathan, nathan, nathan… honestly, I expected better from you. Wash your mouth out with mustard young man. What are all these mentions of the word ‘dead’ doing here? Anyone would think you had recently posted about a visit to a cemetery! And as for your use of the word ‘bitch’, well, I’ll reluctantly give you the benefit of the doubt on that one… I think you’re just hanging out with the wrong crowd… well, one Rated R blogger in particular, anyway.
• Marce of Pip in the City seemed like such a sweet girl when I met her at the bloggers cookie event. And yet, from the blog rating tool it appears she has an obsession with ‘knives’ and ‘death’. I hope that Frank has double locked the cookie factory tonight… I believe that Marce lives close by, and we don’t want anything to happen bad to his ‘friend’ the Cookie Monster now, do we?

Rated PG-13 in Buenos Aires Argentina

• Yanqui Mike is, unfortunately, apparently even more obsessed with death and the dead that Nathan and Marce were before him (parents: be strongly cautioned!) - I hope this is not a bad omen, because he appears to be going through a pretty damn bad fever right now… get well soon, Mike
• Our token Rosarino on this silly list, Pablo from D for Disorientation, seems like a very respectable fellow. His triple whammy of ‘ass’, ‘pain’ and ‘drugs’, however, gets him rated PG-13. But as he appears to be such a nice guy, I hope that pain in the ass (ahem) disappeared with use of the drugs, and stays away…

Rated R in Buenos Aires

• If I had put money on any blogger to come in Rated R, it would have all been on Diva from Buenos Aires Through My Eyes. I’d have put my house on it, only I live in an apartment (and it’s rented, but you catch my drift). The words ‘bitch’ (seven times), ’sexy’ (three times), ‘kill’ (twice) and ’suck’ (once) have titillated her readers over recent times. But won’t somebody please think of the children?
• Finally, closing out the list of shame, is Maya and her Sexy Spanish Club. OK, so with a blog name like that, you’d expect fourteen recent mentions of the word ’sexy’. But persistent mentions of ‘viagra’ (three times), and an ‘ass’ thrown in for good measure, means that apparently under-17s must have a parent or guardian accompanying them when viewing her blog. If it was a film, that is. And of course, if this blog film rating tool were actually not just a big pile of crap…

Interesting to see, according to the tool it’s the lady bloggers of Buenos Aires who are the most foul-mouthed.

Or maybe, just maybe - the blog rating tool is wrong, and really it is me with the most warped mind out of all the bloggers in Argentina. I did just write this slightly warped post, after all!
If all of the above hasn’t put you off doing so and want to see how your blog rates, you can find out your blog film rating here, and let me know what it is in the comments section.

[Hope no one takes this blog post the wrong way! Normal service will be resumed tomorrow, I promise...]